Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?  by Jeanette Winterson

"Books, for me, are a home.  Books don't make a home-they are one, in the sense that just as you do with a door, you open a book, and you go inside.  Inside there is a different kind of time and a different kind of space.  There is warmth there too - a hearth.  I sit down with a book and I am warm.  I know that from the chilly nights on the doorstep." pg. 61

Jeanette Winterson grew up in an unhappy, abusive, and religious Pentecostal family.  She was adopted at a young age and her mother planned to mold her into a missionary of God.  Yet Jeanette heard time and time again that her parents were led to the wrong crib. Jeanette grew up with the knowledge that she never really belonged.  She didn't belong to her adoptive parents, she didn't belong to her birth parents, she didn't belong to her public school because she was so religious and she didn't belong to her church because she was a lesbian.  She spent many nights outside, alone on her doorstep.

She was kicked out of her home at the age of 16 and was homeless living in her car.  Growing up, books were forbidden in her house and so the library became a haven and she began to read every author from A to Z in English Literature.  She applied to Oxford and to her surprise got in as the "working class" experiment.  Jeanette then writes her first book, Oranges are Not the Only Fruit, when she was 24.  Some words of advice:  Read Oranges are Not the Only Fruit before you read this book.  It will make a big difference.

I once heard that if you don't deal with the trauma of your past, that the trauma will find you and make you deal with it.  Well that is what happened to Jeanette.  She sunk into a type of madness, became depressed and emerged forever changed.  When Jeanette decides to go on with her life she then makes the decision to find her birth mother.

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal is an amazing memoir.  It is not told in a linear fashion but it is full of life and passion.   Complex, yet simply told, Winterson bares her soul, telling her readers that she never learned how to love nor how to be loved.  Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal is an explanation of her book, Oranges and a confession of a very painful past.  She divulges her tumultuous past with style, wit and grace all the while showing her readers, wisdom and the strength to endure.  I was so inspired and riveted to Jeanette's story and have many passages of wisdom marked in my book.  This memoir is deeply personal to Winterson and to me, as the reader.  I felt I was looking into the window of her soul.

"Nobody can feel too much, though many of us work very hard at feeling too little.
Feeling is frightening.
Well, I find it so."
Pg. 187

Fall Reading Retreat

Fall Reading Retreat

On October 24 to Oct. 27, I attended a Fall reading retreat in Collegeville, Minnesota.  I go almost every year and I figure this is probably my 9th reading retreat.  The location has varied over time but the sustenance I receive at this event continues to nourish me each year.  Glenda Martin and Mollie Hoben, founders of the Minnesota Women's Press and BookWomen magazine, are the organizers and creators of this wonderful event.  We each read 7 books in preparation for the retreat, all around the theme, Our History is What Shapes Us, What Do You Know About Yours?

The seven books we read are:
The Round House by Louise Erdrich
Original Fire: Poems by Louise Erdrich
Going Blind. A memoir by Mara Faulkner
Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson
Why Be Normal When You Could Be Happy by Jeanette Winterson
Pieces of a White Shell by Terry Tempest Williams
When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams

I arrived at St. John's University around supper time and settled into my private room at the Episcopal House of Prayer.  I was excited to see friends from past retreats and eager to meet all the
new women in attendance.

This year, 15 women attend from 6 different states, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Missouri and Rhode Island.  We ranged in age from 21 to 70 something.  Normally I am the youngest but not this year.

On opening night, Thursday, we sat in a circle to discuss a question about the importance of our 18th year of life.  The range of experiences are incredible and what we find out is that we are all educated and many of us are teachers.  We talk about time and how Everything is Connected.  After a great discussion, we hurried off to bed to continue reading and reviewing our books to get ready for the tomorrow's discussions.

Friday:  In the morning we met to discuss land and one of my favorite authors, Louise Erdrich.  The Round House won the National Book Award and in my opinion it is well-deserving.  We also read some of her poems from Original Fire.  Wow, Erdrich poems are powerful.

After lunch, author Mara Faulkner met with us to discuss her book, .  The theme for the afternoon was spirit.  Mara writes about how her father slowly went blind and refused to acknowledge his blindness.  Her family has a genetic disease called retinitis pigmentosa and her sisters and now Mara also suffer from this degenerative disease.  Faulkner's book is a testament to her father and a history lesson on blindness that was never taught in school.  It was a pleasure to meet her and I'm hoping to attend one of the creative writing workshops she teaches, someday.
Going Blind

After Mara Faulkner left we had some free time to explore the land and grounds of the college.  Guess where I went?  I went to the student bookstore and bought a book called The End of Your Life Book Club by Will Schwalbe.

After dinner, we read aloud a children's book by Louise Erdrich called The Range Eternal and then watched an excellent documentary called My Monster and Me about author, Jeanette Winterson.  We cozied up to two different laptops in two different rooms and many of us were riveted.  This is an excellent documentary and if you have read her books, I think it would be beneficial for you to view it.

Saturday:  In the morning we met to explore gender and discuss the books by Jeanette Winterson.  Winterson knocked my socks off with her intelligent writing and her experiences in many ways mirror mine.  I was really worried I would cry during this discussion as I have gone through similar experiences in my life, but I held it together.

After lunch we had a two hour break and I decided to spend it alone, reading in bed and relishing my time.  I don't get a lot of free time and it was wonderful to just read without interruption.

In the afternoon we met to explore war and discuss Terry Tempest Williams books.  This is the first time I have read a book by Williams, who is a fierce environmentalist and a Mormon.  I find her books about the land, women, Natives and history compelling.  I will definitely be reading more books by Williams.

After dinner I got a call from a hospital in North Dakota.  Turns out my son was in an ATV accident.  Luckily, he is going to be OK but I was visibly shaken and worried and many horrible possibilities flashed before my eyes.  No broken bones.  Just a sore and swollen body.  Thank God he was wearing his helmet.

The rest of the group started a movie called Real Women Have Curves.  After I talked with my son, I joined the group and was able to relax and enjoy the movie.  Then I went back into my room and poured all of my emotions into a poem.  I haven't written a poem in a long time and it felt good.

Sunday: The weekend always goes so fast and I woke up disappointed that the reading retreat was already coming to an end.

In the morning before we left we met to look at children's books, Between Cattails by Terry Tempest Williams and The King of Capri by Jeanette Winterson. We also revisited the theme, How has Time, War, Land, Gender and Spirit shaped you?  Then Glenda read to us from a book called My Bookstore and I thought, wouldn't it be fun to visit all the bookstores in the book? I just might have to do that.  The last thing we did before we hugged goodbye was to pick our Great Book for the weekend.  I chose Why Be Normal When You Could Be Happy by Jeanette Winterson.  I had marked more pages in this book than all the others.  It was a poignant, emotional, beautiful read.

What a great reading retreat.  I am counting down the days until next year.

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson

Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson

Jeanette was adopted by a set of very religious pentecostal parents who lived in North England.  Her mother adopted her so she could grow up to become a missionary and donate her life to God.  Jeanette was only allowed to read one book, she could recite Bible verses and sing many songs unto the Lord.  They went to church everyday and Jeanette grew up loving the Lord and evangelizing.

Jeanette's mother was abusive, locking her out of the house and beating her for her own good.  She frequently said that God lead her to the wrong crib.  As Jeanette grows up alienated in school because of her religious fervor, she begins to realize that she is different.  Her religion sets her apart but more than that, Jeanette realizes she was attracted to the same sex.

This semi-autobiographical, coming of age, novel was written in 1985, when the author was 24 years old.  Winterson writes that the true story is too painful to recount and much worse than this fictional retelling.  Each chapter is named after a book of the Bible, starting with Genesis and ending with Ruth.  Oranges is an amazing book and an incredibly fast read.  I took it on vacation with me and I read it in two days.

I was drawn in by Jeanette's story and her Biblical mother.  Her mother and her religious fervor reminded me a lot of my strict Baptist grandmother.  My grandmother was so religious that she refused to attend her own sons wedding because he married a Catholic girl.  My grandmother never hit me but I was afraid of her for a long time and felt like the outsider in the family.  In many ways my experience mirrored Jeanette's.

The characters in Oranges are well-developed and Jeanette is the unorthodox heroine of her own story. Parts of the novel are quirky and some parts are awful and I admit I was intrigued when poor Jeanette was being exorcised of the devil.  I found myself hoping the main character would find compassion and love from someone in the church.  This book left an indelible mark on my soul and I don't think I will ever forget it.

“Everyone who tells a story tells it differently, just to remind us that everybody sees it differently. Some people say there are true things to be found, some people say all kinds of things can be proved. I don't believe them. The only thing for certain is how complicated it all is, like string full of knots. It's all there but hard to find the beginning and impossible to fathom the end. The best you can do is admire the cat's cradle, and maybe knot it up a bit more.”

Oranges are Not the Only Fruit won the Whitbread Prize for first fiction and was made into a film by the BBC in 1990.

When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams

When Women Were Birds.  Fifty-Four Variations on Voice by Terry Tempest Williams

Terry's mother told her, a week before she died, that she was leaving her all her journals.  She had three shelves of journals in various prints and colors all stacked neatly in rows on the bookshelf.  Her mother made her promise that she wouldn't look at them until she was gone.  "In Mormon culture, women are expected to do two things:  keep a journal and bear children." pg. 18.  What Terry found after her mother died was a complete shock; every one of her mother's journals was blank.

The surprise and weight of the blank journals, requires many questions.  Questions that will be asked but not have any answers, only contemplation.

Within When Women Were Birds, Terry Tempest Williams explores what is means to be a woman, a mother, a grandmother, a writer. She explores faith, the environment, the beauty of birds, marriage.  Terry contemplate her voice, silence and the meaning of her mother's journals.

Terry Tempest Williams is a heartfelt storyteller.  Here she takes the story of her mother and her blank journals and turns it into a beautiful, unique, powerful memoir that is hard to put in a category.  When Women Were Birds is virtually a variegated prism of multiple hues, a treasure chest, a love story to women and voice.

This is the first book I have read written by Terry Tempest Williams and it won't be the last.  My copy of When Women Were Birds is marked with rainbow color tabs because the book spoke to me on a deep level.  It spoke to me as a woman, a mother and a writer.  It was, in short, amazing.  I could relate on so many different levels and thought constantly about the wonderful women and mother's in my life.

Let me share some of my favorite quotes:

"A pencil is a wand and a weapon.  Be Careful.  Protect yourself.  It can be glorious." pg 39

"To be read.  To be heard.  To be seen.  I want to be read, I want to be heard.  I don't need to be seen.  To write requires an ego, a belief that what you say matters."  pg. 47

"There are two important days in a woman's life: the day she is born and the day she finds out why." pg. 209

Muriel Rukeyser asked the question "What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?  The world would split open."
The world is splitting open." Pg 100

"Reading has not only changed my life but saved it.  The right books picked at the right times-especially the one that scares us, threatens to undermine all we have been told, the one that contains forbidden thoughts-these are the books that become Eve's apples."  Pg 97

When Women Were Birds is a gift you must give yourself and the women in your life.

Powerful Women Characters

Powerful Women Characters

In July, I was offered an opportunity to write an article on powerful women characters for the Minnesota Women's Press.  This is the first article I have written for this publication and am super excited to have contributed to their Powerful Women Issue.  The press has a world wide readership and anyone can subscribe.

If you would like to read my article under the BookShelf category, here is the link for their website.   http://www.womenspress.com

You can also get an e-edition of the press or pick up a copy in Minneapolis/St. Paul area.  Let me know what you think and let me know what powerful women characters you would recommend by women writers.