Day 69 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 69 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Today I pulled out my grandma's old coin purse to tell a story about our trips on the Amtrak trains but I didn't get to tell that story so instead, I wrote some of it down in this poem. I was lucky enough to be the oldest grandchild and my grandma, her name was Gertrude, and I would take the train to Red Wing or Wabasha and spend the day having fun together. She never drove but she didn't let that stop her, so we either took a long bus ride or took the train to places. Oh, I miss her so much.

Day 68 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 68 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I wanted to write a poem today that celebrated earth and I spent some time outside today in the lovely 60-degree weather and walked in the woods at sunset. It was nice. So go out and pay attention, look and listen and see if you can see or feel the earth dance.

Day 67 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 67 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

You never know when inspiration will strike and you will have to sit down and write.
I thought of my empty desks today, sitting in my classroom all week without us there and this poem appeared. Teaching right now is awkward. I have 8 students in a class period if I'm lucky and 20 plus students still at home doing distance learning. No one really knows anyone and I've literally met my students for the first time last week. Students don't really know how to be students or even to talk to each other anymore. It's so eerily quiet in the hallways and when I give them a break, they just stay in their seat. We are now going for walks around the building (we are not allowed to go outside) and it's weird but I think they like it. When I came back to school to get ready for students. My room was a time capsule.

I'm learning. I'm growing and expanding myself as a teacher and a learner for sure.

Day 66 of The 100 Days Poetry Project

 Day 66 of The 100 Days Poetry Project

I wrote this poem based on a prompt I read today from a little boy who has cancer and plays a game with his mom where they close their eyes and say what they see inside. I remember as a kid being afraid of the darkness when my eyes were closed and the shapes that morphed in my mind. Today when I did it, I saw winged things and shapes and so much more. It was a fun experiment to pay attention to and write about it.

What do you see when you close your eyes?

Day 65 of The 100 Days Poetry Project

 Day 65 of The 100 Days Poetry Project

This poem and commentary were originally written on April 18th.

The entire world is watching Minnesota right now. The Derek Chauvin trial is ending with a verdict imminent this week. I teach in Minneapolis public schools and we are moving to distance learning on Wednesday for the rest of the week. National Guard is everywhere and businesses are boarding up. Anxiety is high.

A week ago today, a beautiful young black man, Duante Wright was killed by police. We are a community grieving for Daunte and George Floyd. Our pain is raw and the whole world is watching.

I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else as we begin this week and so this poem was born so I could process and remember.

Day 64 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 64 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Last week after the Haven Retreat ended many of us felt like we had a hangover and someone called it a "vulnerability hangover" and I said, I am going to write a poem about that. So this is the first part of that poem. I think many of us don't really know how to be vulnerable and being vulnerable scares most of us so much that we avoid it. I know I avoid it sometimes because it is scary. But you really can't have a meaningful relationship without vulnerability.

Go read Brene Brown.

Day 63 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 63 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I'm writing about the house I stayed at in Utah for the Haven Retreat. It really is a beautiful healing house. One of the women in our group was a beautiful singer and I could hear her singing in the halls. It was nestled in the mountains, safe and serene. A perfect location to begin the work of healing and for the creation of community.

Day 62 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 62 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

During the Haven Retreat for sex abuse survivors, we did a mediation where we visited and spoke with our future older self. I visited her but my older self didn't say anything. She welcomed me and we just held hands and held each other. Everyone else in my group had their older self respond with advice. This is when I learned I have a lot of barriers blocking me from living a full and fulfilling life.
So today I thought I would write an epistle poem to my future wiser older self and tell her how I am preparing for her future today.

Day 61 of The 100 Day Poetry project

 Day 61 of The 100 Day Poetry project

I read several poems about articles of clothing today which gave me the idea to write about my great grandmother's mink stole. I had to ask my mom about it because I know nothing about its story. My great-grandmother Johanna immigrated to the U.S. in 1906. My grandma was her youngest child. My mom wore the stole once and I'm not sure if my grandma or aunts wore it at all. I've only worn it once. It's definitely vintage and not really fashionable. So it lives in my closet.

Do you have interesting vintage clothing?

Day 60 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 60 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I struggled to decide what to write about today. I kept thinking about going for a walk tomorrow and how I really want to walk the entire Superior Hiking Trail and then all of The Ice Age trail and then the North Country trail and so many more.
People in my family love to walk. I could walk all day long, every day. I would love to just keep on walking and never look back but I'm too responsible to do that.

Someday I am trying to get away from my bad memories and some days I am out walking for the pure love of being outdoors in nature.

Do you like to walk?

Day 59 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 59 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

A few weeks ago I wrote a poem called These Thighs and my poet friend Annette, challenged me to write a poem about the stomach. This morning I read a poem by one of my favorite poets, Anna Swir, called Her Belly, and knew I had to write the poem about my stomach. I think most women can relate to constant dieting and not liking their midsection. Ladies, we need to love our bodies and each part of who we are. So thank your stomach for digesting your food and doing its job. Practice mindful eating if you can.

Day 58 of The 100 Day Poetry Project.

 Day 58 of The 100 Day Poetry Project.

I am on a healing journey. When at The Haven Retreat in Utah, I spent a lot of time sitting by the waterfall there and walking beside a bubbling brook. It was peaceful and healing. I tried to write about it- not sure if I actually captured what I wanted to say here. I just want to say that wherever we are in our healing journey, we need to trust the process and know we are where we are meant to be at this time.

Day 57 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 57 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I just got back from the Haven Retreat for childhood sex abuse survivors. I spent the week with 12 amazing women and we've bonded into a sisterhood. One of our first activities together was Kintsugi. It is the art of mending a broken piece of pottery to embrace the beauty of imperfection and to know that we are not broken even though we have deep hidden wounds and scars from the abuse.

I'm not hiding who I am anymore. I am in the process of being reborn.
Try not to hide what you have been through. There is beauty in imperfection. Embrace your imperfections and be reborn.

Day 56 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 56 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Day 56 of The 100 Day Project

I just finished reading Caste by Isabel Wilkerson and was inspired to write this poem. I really want to live in a world where everyone is treated equally and given every opportunity to live their lives without fear, without racism and sexism. We need to recognize everyone's humanity regardless of race or religion and live in harmony and accept each other as family. What an amazing world that would be.

Day 55 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 55 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Well, this memory surfaced for me yesterday of me with my twin cousins Cindy and Sandy riding their horse Cherokee to the creek. Its such a fun memory but we had sore bottoms after the run to the barn. I haven't ridden bareback since. No idea how old we were but we sure knew how to have fun. It is literally a miracle we didn't fall off or get hurt. I had so much fun with my cousins. I really miss them.

Day 54 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 54 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

At the beginning of April, I made a commitment to face my trauma of sex abuse and deal with some demons that have been haunting me my whole life. I'm was excited and scared at the same time. I attended The Haven Retreat in Utah for survivors.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones. 80 percent of abuse survivors cope by using drugs and alcohol and I feel lucky I didn't take that road. I'm not sure exactly why I didn't. I know so many people who have suffered from drug and alcohol addiction. There is no shame intended in the poem as we are all on our own journeys. We all do what we can to survive trauma. I wish all of you healing and safety and freedom from pain.

Day 53 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Day 53 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I was inspired to write this poem based on a line in a poem called "Why Just Ask the Donkey" by Hafiz. The line is: When I have so many other animals and brightly colored birds inside." Since I broke my arm and displaced my rotator cuff, I feel like I have a broken wing and am confined to the nest so I guess it finally emerged as a poem. 

Day 52 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 52 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Today's poem highlights what I really heard today happening in the world around me. The song I'm referencing is Liberty and Justice for all. I am also referencing the trial of Derek Chauvin and the killing of George Floyd which takes place in the neighborhood where I teach high school. The Cicadas line comes from an MPR story I heard today and the line about our nervous systems comes from the On Being podcast which features Christine Runyan.

I hope it all comes together to make a poem that makes you think about what you are hearing every day.

Day 51 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 51 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Some I love has cancer and it's terminal and it's so hard on all of us.
I called the church to request prayers and request that communion be delivered once a week. The lady I talked was so sweet and said they would start praying to ease his pain right away. Thank goodness for prayer warriors.

Day 50 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 50 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Every time I hear Randy Travis sing "He Walked on Water" I start crying because it reminds me of my grandpa Harvey Spaulding, who I miss so much. This poem is a tribute to my grandpa and I'm borrowing a line from the song- I thought that he walked on water to use in my poem. My grandpa wasn't perfect, but in my mind, he is a legend, just like the many stories he told me.

Wow. Day 50. I'm at the halfway mark of this project and I have to say that this project has been transformational for me. Thank you to everyone who is reading my work, commenting, following, and buying me coffee.

You inspire me to keep writing every day.

Day 49 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 49 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I got the idea to write about Heaven from poet Jose Olivarez who has several poems titled Mexican Heaven in his book Citizen Illegal.

Think about our soul without the baggage of the body and mind and we all become free to embrace everyone as family. This is my Heaven.

Day 48 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 48 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

I've been thinking a lot about the 7 mass murders in 7 days in this country and the anger that resides within all of us. Why do some of us choose to let it go without harming someone emotionally or physically and others harm others with words, fists, and bullets? We all have gaping wounds of sadness. Some choose to fill it with hope and others fill it with fear and hate,

Day 47 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Day 47 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Jane Goodall said she would trade one year of her life to change places with a chimpanzee for just 5 minutes. I was Wowed by this and thinking about it led to this poem.

If you could choose to trade places with a species who would you choose?

The possibilities are endless. 

Day 46 of the 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 46 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

Oh my gosh, it is so hard for me to give away stuff I never use because I attach personal meaning to everything. I usually remember who gave it to me, the history of the object, and the memories attached to it. It's like giving away a piece of myself. 

Can anyone relate?

Day 45 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

 Day 45 of The 100 Day Poetry Project

It was 9 pm when I heard the owl start calling me outside. I went out to sit on the steps in the dark and listened to her Hoot for an hour. Tears started and I knew the grief was coming for someone who was in our wedding years ago who died from Covid this morning. Sometimes the human experience is hard and it gets to me. Life isn't fair.

I'm so thankful for the owl's visit tonight. I've been missing them and I know there are at least two here. I love listening to them at night. They remind me to use my intuition and to look for the messages in the moment.